Logan (X-Men Movie) Review

Title: Logan

Maker: Fox

Rating: Four F*cking Stars

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This movie was one of the best I’ve seen in a while. It’s an X-Men movie, so you know there’s going to be action scenes with people using their mutant powers. But since this movie is also rated R, we get some decent fucking swearing, too.

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The story takes place in the future, the year 2029 to be exact. No new mutants have been born, Wolverine is driving some fancy car as an Uber (?), Charles is crazy with Alzheimer’s, Caliban is walking around in an outfit that looks like he’s a germaphobe, and all of them are living in some place along the Mexican border. Everything is fine (not really, that’s just what people say in these situations) and then some crazy lady approached Wolverine and asks him to take her and her daughter some place.

He says no, but then ends up taking the daughter anyway after the woman dies because plot! Anyway, turns out that the little girl (Laura) is Wolverine’s “daughter.” I used air quotes because she isn’t his daughter in the traditional way but still technically… anyway. What I liked most about the movie was Laura. She went crazy berserker and was killing people left and right with her claws.

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But she remained composed around Charles and developed a friendship with him, and eventually Wolverine.

I thought the story was very well paced. The first shot of Wolverine we get is him old (yes, he finally started aging), passed out drunk in his car, and then manages to kill two people while still drunk (or hungover whatever, that’s still hard). Our first shot of Professor X is him rolling around in his wheelchair like he’s insane. Which, by this point he is. I think this story did a good job at showing us how much their lives have changed over the years.

This was no typical superhero story. When the characters got hurt, they actually got hurt. They suffered from their wounds and in the end, Wolverine and Professor X are dead. If you’re upset about the spoiler, get over it. I review the whole movie on here, not just the trailer you-still-no-nothing sh*t.

I only have one complaint about this movie. And that is that there was no end credit scene. I wasted around five minutes of my life sitting in that theater, watching the credits roll by and for what? For nothing! That’s what! Thank you for wasting my time, Logan!

I recommend this movie for anyone who enjoys awesomeness.

Good day.

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