Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle

Four high school kids discover an old video game console and are drawn into the game’s jungle setting, literally becoming the adult avatars they chose. What they discover is that you don’t just play Jumanji – you must survive it. To beat the game and return to the real world, they’ll have to go on the most dangerous adventure of their lives, discover what Alan Parrish left 20 years ago, and change the way they think about themselves – or they’ll be stuck in the game forever.

SPOILERS

If you are looking for a funny movie, then I would recommend watching this one. However, just know that occasionally there are brief pauses throughout the movie where it tries to talk about things that relate more to how you should live your life. It felt so out of place with all the humor they were trying to stick into it.

Another problem with the story is that it was very obvious when something was added for length or just for humor. For example, that Kevin Hart’s character’s weakness was cake. It was really only in there so when they went to the market and he ate cake, he would die. There was no purpose other than that.

And when they made Karen Gillan’s character learn to flirt for five minutes, then made her flirt with the guards they needed to distract for five minutes, leading to a three-minute fight where she knocks them out. This all makes me wonder, why didn’t she just knock them out in the first place? It would’ve saved time. But no! The movie needs to show how bad people are at flirting if they’ve never done it before. Cause I need to sit through that shit. I LIVE that shit.

Also when the characters were trying to fly the helicopter for some reason, and Kevin Hart’s character drops the emerald that they need to get to the giant statue. That was completely unnecessary and only in there to make this movie even longer. And all because he was drunk? Why are you getting drunk when you are trying to fight your way out of the fucking jungle? Why?!

Image result for ain't nobody got time for that

That being said, I honestly believe that all of these actors did a great job. I truly believed that they were other people in these bodies. I never thought that the Rock could pull off being a nerd or that Jack Black could be a teenage girl (that was actually my favorite part), but they both rocked it. And my only complaint was Kevin Heart. And honestly, it’s not that he did a bad job, it’s just that I don’t think his character had much development in the first place so there wasn’t much for him to do anyway. It was basically just Kevin Hart cracking jokes.

There were also several plot holes I found in this movie, like how some characters got to certain places so fast in the final fight. Also, how the game is found in America but at the ending of the first movie, it’s found on a beach with two people speaking a foreign language? Yes, people still speak foreign languages in America, but it’s still a little fishy. Also also, if these characters can only move along to the next level if they have the skill for it, then why would the game let you play without all the characters? What if someone didn’t chose the map reader guy and then they couldn’t get anywhere because they couldn’t read the map?

Which brings me to my next point. How in the hell did Nick Jonas’s character know what to do when he didn’t have the read the map skill? Does the game just progress you forward even if you don’t have that skill? How did he know what to do? This whole movie is falling apart by the second!

But the main one I noticed was at the very end when they exit the game. It’s already stated in the beginning and in the middle of the movie that this story takes place in the same universe as the first movie with Robin Williams.That being said, it’s understandable that the first guy to go into the game (twenty years before the four high school kids) would remember everything because Alan and Sarah remembered in the first movie. Everything went back to how it was before they started the game.

So my big question is, how in the ever loving fuck do the kids remember anything considering Judy and Peter don’t remember anything from when they played the game?! I’ll tell you why, because plot magic, that’s why. It only happened because the kids were placed as the main characters and they didn’t want all of their development for nothing. Even if it would have made the movie made sense, but who needs that?

Image result for plot meme

So, I give this movie 3 stars. I suggest to only watch this movie if you need a laugh and to shut off your brain so you can actually believe the plot line they are throwing at you.

Good day.

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